The Sarcastic Tutor (BTS)
by Diamond Shyn
Summary: It's funny when you get punished for an act that you didn't commit, but getting punishment for an act that a freaking bee committed? That's a whole new level right there, my friend. Now, having to tutor seven troublemakers of the school, I only wanna wish you the best of lucks that you don't burst your lungs laughing - maybe, that is. (On Wattpad under @may bornmia)
1. Prologue

Welcome to the land of broken tables and chairs. At the moment, your lovely host, which is me (thanks for the applaud though) is standing amidst the mess, facing her teacher, trying to comprehend her stupid words.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked her and squinted my eyes in an attempt to look like a detective, but Ms. Dracula's Sister maintained her poker face.

"Uh, no, Lisa," she spoke, folding her arms and looking at me with a rather serious expression. I fake coughed and straightened up, and argued, "Ma'am, I don't even know those boys."

"Then make friends," She nonchalantly replied, resuming checking the answer sheets.

"But no, no, no, it's not fair, ma'am!" I whined like a child, and she halted, looking sternly at me, and that's when I knew that I screwed up. There were less than zero chances of her lessening my punishment.

"What was that, miss?" She asked me, widening her eyes dramatically.

"Uh, ma'am," I inhaled, "You're giving me a punishment for an act that wasn't even mine."

"Then who do I blame? That honeybee?" She skeptically asked.

"It wasn't entirely my fault. Why did that honeybee enter the class in the first place?" I questioned back.

"Then who told you to throw the furniture at it to make it go away?"

"That was self-defense. I learned it from the internet."

"You're not making this easy for yourself, Lisa," She said, pointing the nib of the red-colored pen at me, "You are getting a punishment. Either you tutor these boys for English, or you go for detention."

"But my parents would literally bury me alive if they got to know about the detention," I said, and then joined my hands and made the cutest puppy eyes I could make, "Please, ma'am?"

"Request denied. Oh, and it's the dispersal time already. Go to the detention room already."

"Detention room? Why?" I asked, perplexed.

"You don't know? Never heard of Kim Namjoon and his gang?"

"Yeah, that egg-faced guy with his six minions?"

"...Yes," She sighed, "They're notorious for getting detention almost every day. You have to tutor them."

"Ha-ha, wait, what?" I blinked at her, not believing my luck.

"Yes, you'll be teaching them English, since you're good at the subject." She casually responded, and once again, ignored my presence and resumed checking the sheets she was working on.

"Wow, God, way to go," I muttered, "This Dracula's sister and her seven little babies."

"Did I hear something?" She looked at me with pointed eyes, and I audibly sighed, and said, "No, ma'am, I'll get to work."

With that, I left the once-clean classroom, with one more thing to be cranky about. Literally though, I never meant to break half the furniture of the class. What would you do if a random bee entered your class and you were alone because you were completing your goddamned pending work? Probably defend yourself.

And that's what I freaking did! My desk was the nearest thing I could find to throw at the bee - doesn't she have any common sense or something?

Clutching the strap of my bag close to my chest, I slammed open the door of the detention room in anger.

Silence. Can you hear the crickets' screeching?

"Ooh, hottie," One of them whistled, and I looked at the one who spoke.

Damn, may God protect him now.


	2. Chapter 1: Too Fab For 'Hottie'

"What did you just call me?" I shrieked, slowly turning my head in the direction of the guy who just called me 'hottie' to give the Annabelle effect. Seriously, calling me hottie was like calling a pizza a broccoli. I was way too fab than just hottie.

"Oh, looks like she's deaf," Another one joked, high-fiving the one sitting beside him.

I dropped my bag on the floor and stomped up to him, and with one sharp glance, I leaned towards him, and he leaned back in fear, and I began, "Listen to me, boy, if you ever call me deaf again, I will shave your head off and make you eat your hair. Got it?"

He nodded in response, and I straightened up, coughed, and asked, "Name, mister?"

"Jungkook," He muttered out, and I remarked, "I'm just gonna stick with Kookie."

Then I turned, not giving a chance to Jungkook to argue, and asked the guy who had called me 'hottie', "What's your name?"

"Taehyung," He replied, running a hand through his hair.

"Okay, that's TaeTae then," I mumbled, and the guy beside me snickered.

"Who the hell you be?" I rashly asked, folding my arms before my chest. Damn, I really was in one of my worst moods because of the ridiculous punishment.

"Um, Jin," He croaked out, and I happily chirped, clapping my hands, "You'll be Jinnie!"

"What's up with you making nicknames for us?" Taehyung asked.

"That's a better way to remember names, TaeTae," I replied, and went on the similar way for the rest of the guys' names.

"Alright, so Kookie, Jinnie, Yoongz-"

"Don't call me Yoongz." Yoongi grumbled, and I ignored him.

"-Joonie, TaeTae, Hobi, and Jiminie," I breathed, "Whoa, that's a lot of names!"

They all looked at me, bored. I made an absurd face and continued, "So, I'm Lisa, and-"

"We'll call you Lizzy!" Jimin beamed at me.

"Uh, okay," I said, not a fan of the name Lizzy, but whatever, "Ms. Dragon's Sister, whose real name I totally forgot, told me to teach you guys English as a punishment."

"What did you even do?" Hoseok asked me.

I hesitated before answering, "Well, I just killed a bee... with the school furniture."

"How... how did you even manage to do that?" Namjoon said, and I looked at the rest of them, staring at me, dumbfounded, with their mouths hung open.

"Come on, it isn't that big a deal!" I argued.

"Sure, sure," Taehyung whispered, and I glared at him, and he averted his eyes and said, "I didn't say that."

"We'll see, but guys, I don't know you, you don't know me, and wow, no shit Sherlock," I giggled at my own lame sarcasm, "So, anyway, I've been told to tutor you guys English, just like I said, so are there any queries?"

"Look who's acting like a teacher," Jungkook smirked.

"Yeah, someone who's better at the job than you," I retorted.

"At least I didn't break the furniture of the school," he shot back.

"Well, I've already killed that bee for putting me into this position, and who knows that you might be the next on my list?" I arched my eyebrows, and he silenced.

"I have a doubt!" Hoseok called out for me, enthusiastically raising his hand. I walked over to his desk, and he said, "I can't get the tenses right."

"Neither can I. But okay, let me make a try," I concentrated at it, and within seconds, I got the answer.

"So that's how you... what's this?" I looked at the little piece of unevenly torn paper passed to me by Namjoon. I looked up at him to see him already wearing his backpack, and the rest were getting up and walking out of the door.

"Call me on this for the next class, _ma'am_," He chuckled, waving at me, and within minutes, the entire room was vacant.

"Well, good for me."


	3. Chapter 2: Best Friend And Call-Friend

"You're tutoring people? Are you okay?" Yumi asked, placing the back of her hand on my forehead to check my temperature.

I removed her hand from my forehead; seriously, the boisterousness of my best friend sometimes gets the best of me.

"Girl, ask Ms. Dracula's Sis that," I said, scribbling on the notebook again. A minute passed, and when I looked up, she was creepily staring at me instead of doing her homework.

"Eek!" I screeched, completely creeped out.

"I'm not that bad looking..." She pouted at me.

"You look like a cow high on cocaine," I said, laughing, and she arched her eyebrow as if to say 'seriously, dude?'.

I squinted my eyes to give the alien look, and she giggled, "Why am I best friends with you?"

"Because you're even weirder than me, dork," I flicked her nose.

"Ow! Don't do that, jerk!" she over-dramatically cried, and I gave her a 'WTF' look and got back to my homework.

Seeing the trigonometric problems, printed on the white paper, my head hurt. Why did math even exist?

I mean, it might be a little important somewhere, but algebra and trigonometry? Why even?

It's not like 'Hey, the world has been invaded by zombies and in order to fight back, you need to square tan theta'. Just no.

After a minute of concentrating on the problems, I lifted my head and cried out, "It's been eighty four years!"

Yumi looked at me weirdly and continued doing her equations.

"Seriously, dude, you don't even know math, yet you're doing stuff. The hell is happening?" I peeked at her notebook, and what I saw was her drawing flowers on the margins.

"Expected," I stated, slowly clapping.

"Hashtag exposed!" she said, trying to form a hashtag with her fingers and failing miserably.

"Yeah, but I need to submit this tomorrow. What do I even do?" I said, wishing to eat up the math book and gulp it down so I didn't have to see those problems ever again.

"You said you're tutoring Namjoon and his friends, right?" Yumi asked, and I nodded.

"He's rumored to be really smart at math and chemistry, so try asking him?" she suggested.

I thought over it for a moment. Namjoon wasn't that bad a companion, judging from those five minutes of detention I had with them. Sure, Taehyung and Jungkook could be a handful, but what was the harm in asking Namjoon? Plus, I even had his number.

I checked my phone to search for the piece of paper on which he had written his number, and when I drew it out from my back pocket, Yumi wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Don't give me that look, human," I warned her, dialing Namjoon's number on my phone.

About three rings later, he picked up his phone, and said in a voice deeper than usual, "Hello?"

"Yo, man, wassup?" I casually asked.

"Nothing much, but who the hell are you?"

"It's the pizza delivery girl, calling from 'The Pizza Junction'," I started, "Just wanted to update you with our new offers."

"...Go on."

"Get your girlfriend and get a side dish free. Get your wife and get a pizza free. Get both of them together and your hospital bill will be paid by us."

Yumi tried to stifle her laughter, but burst out laughing anyway.

"The heck?!"

"Sorry, Joonie, it's me."

"And who is me?"

"You are Namjoon. By the way, the grammar was wrong."

I heard a defeated sigh come from the other end, "You're making my head ache."

"Well, then, Lisa to the rescue!" I excitedly said.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Sorry, that was a bad joke."

"That's okay, but what's up with you calling me? Am I that attractive that you couldn't wait a day to talk to me, hm?"

"Ooh, yeah, I'm so enamored of you. I mean, I can't wait to kiss you!" I made a kissy sound on the phone, and he stayed silent.

"I hope you understood that was sarcasm," I clarified.

"I ship you guys!" Yumi yelled in the background.

"Wait, Joonie, hold on a second," I spoke on the phone, and then keeping a hand to block my voice from going the other end, I stabbed her elbow lightly with a pen. She screamed, and I said, "And I ship you and the pen. See, you guys just kissed!"

With that, I returned to the call, "Hey, so I wanted to ask you for help."

"For finding a boyfriend? Forget it, no one wants a girl who kills bees with tables and chairs."

"Haha, and by the way, that hurt."

He laughed.

"Oh, come on, let me get to the point," I whined.

"Is there even a point to this conversation?"

"Oh, no, I just wanted to hear your lovely voice!" I said sarcastically, faking enthusiasm, "Boy, nah."

"Now you hurt my feelings."

"So I'm supposed to feel guilty?"

"Yeah, you are. Oh, wait, no, that feeling is meant for humans, not aliens."

"Oh, my god; you are so funny, I just died laughing," I monotonously said.

"Just love the spirit!" he cheered.

"Dude, okay, I have something important to talk about."

"Don't say that's you're gonna confess your love for me!"

"Love? What's that? Is it a type of sandwich?"

"Police need to take this hungry elephant who's talking to me, back to the zoo."

"Boy, you sure watched a hell lot of Disney."

"Are we done dissing each other?"

"Thank God! I thought this conversation was never going to end!"

"I'm just so interesting to talk to, right?"

"No, you're a chicken."

Both of us laughed at my poor attempt at making a joke, and then I stopped midway and said, "Joonie! I'm in a life crisis!"

"What happened?"

"I have to submit this trigonometry homework, and these things are just bouncers."

"Bouncers?"

"Bounce over my head."

"Oh," He stopped for a second, "I might know how to solve them."

"That's why I called you, egg," I said, "Help me, please?"

"Come over, then."


	4. Chapter 3: Boys Are Male Species

"You're coming with me," I said, ordering Yumi to accompany me to Namjoon's house.

"No way in hell! They are boys - male species - and I hate boys!" she made a disgusted face.

"Wow, I never knew that those boys were male species!" I said in sarcastic wonder, widening my eyes, "I mean, you're such a genius! Are you a descendant of Einstein?"

"Ha-ha, funny," she folded her arms, "I'm not going to a guy's house."

"Why?"

"Don't you know? I'm scared of guys!" she shrieked.

"Oh, that," I made a thoughtful face, "You gotta overcome that fear someday, dorky."

"Not now," she fixed her hair. I stood up and dragged her by her hoodie, and she walked backwards, groaning.

O~O~O

I knocked at the door, having read his address that he texted me a while ago. Yumi and I had walked three blocks just to reach his house, and let me tell you - the weather wasn't helping.

The door opened to reveal Namjoon in a casual wear, his hair messy.

"Hey," he greeted me, and then scanned Yumi up and down, "Who's this?"

Yumi stayed quiet, and I spoke on her behalf, "She's Yumi, my best friend."

"So aliens have best friends too? Wow."

I playfully punched his shoulder, and he chuckled, making way for both of us to enter his house. Upon entering the living room, I saw the rest of the boys from the detention lounging around lazily.

"...hey," I spoke, looking at Yumi to see that she had widened her eyes like any horror movie's antagonist. She moved her gaze at me, and said, "Oh, my god, male species."

"Calm down..."

"Hey, Lizzy!" Jimin jumped at seeing me, bringing the others' attention towards us. Even Yoongi woke up to see me there.

"Hey, Jiminie!" I cheered back, "Meet Yumi, guys!"

She nervously moved her gaze around, just to see Yoongi laid down on a sofa, Jin, Jimin, Hoseok, and Taehyung sitting in a circle on the floor, and Jungkook stuffing his mouth with brownies.

Jungkook moved his gaze towards Yumi and stopped eating, and she looked back at him with her mouth hung open, and it was love at first sight.

Or was it?

She blinked at me, and I said, "Trust me when I said that I'd make your fear go away."

She blushed, looking at the ground, smiling.

"Okay, this isn't _What Makes You Beautiful_, so stop smiling at the ground," I said, now bobbing my head at the dope song.

"You make terrible jokes," Yoongi sighed.

"Aw, is Yoongz jealous of my sense of humor?"

"For the last time, don't call me Yoongz."

"Okay, Yoongz."

He groaned, and we laughed at his reaction.

"Lizzy is cool!" Jin exclaimed, and I flipped my hair, saying, "Diva in the house!"

So the rest of the time, instead of paying any heed to the trigonometric disasters, we played truth and dare, which apparently, was being played by Jinnie, TaeTae, Hobi, and Jiminie. I sat across Hoseok, and we spun the distorted bottle.

"Ask Yumi the question, Jin!" We cheered.

"Truth or dare?"

"Eh, um, uh, hmm," she loudly thought, and finally said, "I guess dare?"

"I dare you to kiss Jungkook," Jin proudly stated, and her mouth fell open. Jungkook blushed, looking as cute as a baby, and Yumi protested, "Do I have no say in this?"

"Nah," Jimin said.

"Then bring it on, hell!" Yumi exclaimed and leaned in to peck Kookie on the lips. Judging by the color on his face, he could be classified as tomato.

"Whoa, Yumi's wild!"

"Get a room, guys!"

"That's my girl!" I threw my fists into the air.

We spun the bottle again, and this time, it landed on Yoongi and me. I was supposed to give the question, and he groaned in annoyance, knowing that it wasn't going to go well with him.

"Truth or dare?"

"Ugh, truth."

"Tell us your most embarrassing experience."

"You're seriously gonna do this to me?"

"Hell yeah!"

He thought for a moment, looking at the ground, and then said, "So this girl was giving me the looks that day, and I kinda liked her too, so she came to my seat to tell me that I had to meet her around the washroom in the recess. So, the recess came and this girl went out. When I got up, my trousers got stuck with the wood and split up from behind. I was so damn embarrassed, because I had to spend the rest of the day in torn pants, and from the window, she was passing me looks. I just awkwardly smiled at her, and to sum it up, she now thinks I'm gay."

There was silence for a second in the room, everyone busy comprehending what Yoongi had said. Then we all burst into laughter.

"This is why I wasn't telling you all," Yoongi face-palmed.


	5. Chapter 4: In Detention

Trust me when I say this: school sucks.

Why? Haha, when you have Dracula's Sister as your teacher, it automatically does, haha.

"Ma'am, I have completed the equations," I argued, feeling the curious gaze of the rest of the class on us.

"And almost all of them are wrong," she sassily replied, locking her fingers.

"I guess teaching me is a part of your job?" I whispered, but she heard anyway. Furious, I ended up a minute later in the detention room.

And who could ignore the familiar friendly faces?

"Lizzy!" Jimin cutely cooed, smiling widely, as if me coming back to the detention room was a reason for a party. Well, I'm not complaining.

"Jiminie!" I cooed back, and as he ran to hug me, I shifted to my side, so he tripped and face planted into the floor.

He got up and rubbed his red nose, and complained, "Why did you do that?"

"Because I can, pretty boy," I smirked, "What did you do to get here anyway?"

"I snatched a junior's lollipop."

Jungkook snickered.

"Don't you laugh!" Jimin whined, "Your reason is even sillier than mine!"

"Don't you dare tell her-"

"He stuck bubblegum on the teacher's chair."

"Reasons, man," I raised my eyebrows, "You've got awesome ones."

"Lol, thanks," Jungkook happily responded.

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Wait, it wasn't?"

I sighed.

"What are you here for? Killed a dragonfly this time?" Namjoon asked, chuckling.

"Well, nah. I'm here because of you."

"Me? How?"

"You didn't explain the trigonometric problems to me."

"You didn't ask."

"Then why the hell was I there at your place last night?"

"Truth and dare?"

"Ugh!" I balled my fists, "This is the first time I've gotten detention, and my dad will cut me into half if he gets to know about this!"

"At least you didn't kill a bee," Jin said, and the room boomed with a hearty windshield wiper laugh.

"So funny," I made an absurd face and went to sit down on one of the vacant seats beside Taehyung, "Oh, and I'll have to teach you all too after this."

A loud groan came from all the boys.

"No!" Hobi whined, "I don't wanna study!"

"You do realize that you're acting like a four-year-old, right?"

"That's okay," he came running to me, and sat down before my desk, "We can have some fun! Just like we did yesterday?"

"And that calls for Yumi," I rose up, winking at Jungkook to see him blushing. Taehyung nudged the shy boy, and he elbowed Taehyung harder, so Tae cried in pain, saying, "You satanic child! I wish a cockroach falls into your favorite dish!"

Let me just ignore that.

So, Jungkook, Jimin, and I went to stand outside Yumi's class' windows and saw her right across the class. I took out a paper and wrote: _Come outside now! ~L_

I crumpled the sheet up and threw it inside, and it hit her head. She looked around aimlessly, searching for the culprit, and picked up the ball to unfold it, and a look of realization passed through her face. She looked towards the window, and the three of us waved and jumped like monkeys.

She got the idea and went to ask the male teacher, who was currently writing on the board.

"Sir, can I use the washroom?" she gently asked.

"No, you may not. Now sit down," he curtly replied and resumed writing.

"What the hell?" Jungkook whispered.

Yumi furrowed her eyebrows and spoke, "Sir, I'm on my periods."

"Nice excuse, but no."

She balled her fists, and then blurted out, "Sir, I woke up in a pool of my own blood, and you sure don't want the class to witness the same scene right here, do you?"

The teacher nervously looked around and nodded.


	6. Chapter 5: Weirdoes

"Hey, guys!" Yumi whisper-exclaimed as she shut the door of her class, walking out of the room. Jungkook immediately walked up to her and they entwined their fingers.  
Cheesy.

I looked around, and found Jimin crinkling his face up at the corner.

"Cheesy," he said to me, and bro, are we long lost twins or something?

"Okay, love birds, lemme tell you all - the school time is gonna be over soon, and I'll have to begin with your English classes."

"I'm accompanying you," Yumi winked at me.

"Okay, let's go before they get all mushy-mushy," I said to Jimin, and he giggled.

We all walked back into the detention room, and found Taehyung standing like a starfish, leaning on the wall, Yoongi giving Hoseok a weird look, Hoseok laughing with wide eyes, Jin almost rolling on the floor, laughing, his face red, and Namjoon sighing, saying, "Why am I friends with them?"

"What's up here?" Yumi questioned. Namjoon took three long strides to reach us, and said,

"Yoongi was sleeping, so Jin and Hobi woke him up to tell him a joke. And Jin said, as I may quote: 'What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto' and he began laughing, so Hobi said that the joke was leJINdary, and they are dying laughing now. Oh, and no one knows what's up with Tae."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Jin came to me, panting due to laughing way too much, and Hobi followed closely.

"Hey," Jin said, totally excited, "Do you know why the graveyard looks crowded? Because people are dying to get there." And he started with his peculiar laughter again.

"Getting on the next level with the dark humor, are we?" I commented.

"And he knows how to flirt like this too!" Hobi exclaimed, and we all looked incredulously at Jin. He straightened up and coughed, and with a serious look, he began, "Your furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand."

Silence.

"That was the worst thing I've heard in my entire life," Namjoon exasperatedly said, widening his eyes to give the effect.

"Let's pretend we didn't hear that..." I twirled my hair, "How about some music?"

"Oh, I get to choose the song!" Taehyung immediately said, walking towards us.

"Why were stuck on the wall like that?" Namjoon asked him.

"I was just wondering how starfish feel..." Taehyung trailed off, and then grabbed my phone, "Let's turn up!"

"Rave time!" Jungkook said, and Hobi hooted.

I don't know these guys.

Taehyung typed furiously on the phone, and a minute later, a weird tune played.

***cue 7th Element by Vitas***

"What the hell is even yaprishota ayetupeeshtyu?" Yoongi muttered, returning to his table to go back to sleep again.

"TaeTae, I'm never giving you the choice to select music again," I snatched my phone from his hands, and he frowned.

"You're mean," he spoke, glaring at me.

"Are you high on cocaine?"


	7. Chapter 6: Girlfriend Material

"Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend?" Jin asked us all.

"Why?"

"Because Sheeran. Get it? Get it?" Again, the window wiper laugh.

"You know what?" Namjoon asked me.

"What?" I said, still laughing from the previous bad pun Jin had presented. We all had been laughing and chatting ever since Yumi had left her class. The time was already over the dispersal, and for the rest of the detention time, we all had been fooling around.

"I actually wanted to ask you... do you have a boyfriend?"

"No chance, man."

"Knew it," he chuckled, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why? Is it too obvious?" I asked him, genuinely concerned about the fact.

"Yeah. I mean, you're definitely not the girlfriend material," Jin simply said, and I widened my eyes with a gasp.

"Oh, my god, it affects me so freaking much!" I sardonically said, placing a hand on my chest.

"Stop being sarcastic for once, Lisa," Yumi pursed her lips, "I don't wanna say this, but you're more like... single forever."

"Well, that's because I am."

"You've never dated anyone in your life."

At this, the boys' shared a shocked look.

"You've never dated?" Taehyung asked me in an ultra-deep voice.

"You're scaring me."

"No, but seriously?" he again asked, dramatically widening his eyes.

"I'd say you're a good actor, but you're not."

"Oh, please! Acting is my passion," he boasted, shoving a hand in my face as if to say 'stop'.

"Okay, okay, but no, I've never dated," I clarified.

Silence remained in the room for barely a minute, and suddenly, Hobi jumped up and announced, "We're gonna find Lizzy a boyfriend!"

"Wait, what?" I asked, astonished, looking incredulously at the bunch cheering at Hoseok.

"Yeah!" They said, sitting down in a circle with me in the center.

"Why am I being given the importance? Is it my last day on earth already? Am I going to die?"

"Shut up, Shawty, just tell us what you like in a guy," Yoongi sassed.

I looked up at the roof, pondering over his question. What did I like? I had never given much thought to the fact.

"You're gonna date a bat?" Jin said, and again, the laughter.

"Ha-ha, funny," I said, making a face, and then was again lost in thought. What could make me the best possible guy to go with?

Without noticing, I muttered out, "Intense eyes, sense of humor, honesty, and maybe someone to have fun with?"

"No wonder you have no boyfriend," Jimin said.

"Right? That's the first time I'm hearing this," Yumi remarked.

"Well, if a guy like that doesn't exist, then let me watch my original series with ice-cream? I guess food is love for me," I pouted, "No man's business."

"How about we watch Titanic at Jin's tonight?" Taehyung suggested.

"Yeah, my parents are out-of-town for a while, so you guys can come over," Jin agreed.

"And we'll give Lizzy a makeover for being the girlfriend material!" Jungkook came up with the idea.

"Dude, it's not a girls' night out," Namjoon gave him a look.

"Whatever, I need to ship her with someone anyway," Jimin solemnly nodded.

"I hate you all," Was all I could say, watching Yumi helplessly smiling at me, and turning my gaze to find Taehyung winking at me.


	8. Chapter 7: Titanic And Tissues

"I'll never let you go, Jack..." Taehyung mimicked Rose, and cried, blowing his nose into a tissue.

"Tissues are expensive. Use them wisely," Jin scolded him.

"That's the most over-dramatic thing I've ever seen," Yoongi commented.

"I know, right, Yoongz," I agreed.

"Do. Not. Call. Me. Yoongz," he replied, stopping his hand midway while eating popcorn. I lifted my hands in a surrender motion, and asked him, "What do you want me to call you then?"

"Yoongi."

"Nah, too old-fashioned."

"Gummy bears? Anyone?" Jungkook passed a packed of candies, labelled 'sugar-coated jelly beans'. Yoongi stared at it for a second, and then said, "Call me Suga."

"Okay, Sugar."

"It's Suga."

"That's what I said, Sugar."

"Yoongz was better."

"I know, right!?"

"Jack is dead!" Jin wailed from the corner of the large sofa, sitting against it on the the floor, and hid his face in the blanket he was holding on to.

"Tell me this is the last time you're crying over this movie," Namjoon sighed.

"But I don't think Jack is dead yet," Taehyung started, wiping snot off his nose, "I have a theory over this. What if Jack isn't dead at all, but climbed up another ship nearby?"

"There was no ship around at that time, Tae," Jimin clarified.

"But that's what you think," Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows, "Jack must've searched for Rose all his life, and now I feel bad for him."

"Illuminati confirmed," I remarked. He took a bow from his sitting position, which made him look like he was rather constipated.

"Anyway, let me hear what's going on in the movie," Yumi stuffed her mouth with popcorn, and glared at the bright television screen in the dark room. We had turned off the lights for the extra effect, and while the ship had been sinking, there had been gasps erupting from the over-emotional crowd.

"I still can't stop crying in this movie, even though I've watched it, like, a thousand times," Hobi said, rocking back and forth on the ground, moving the blanket on his lap with him.

The movie finally ended, and upon turning on the lights, I had a look at the emotional ones, and believe me, their faces were red. Totally red.

And then I looked at myself, who hadn't shed a single tear during the entirety of the movie. Was I emotionless or something? Was there something wrong with me?

"Now let's do what we came here for!" Hobi exclaimed, a 180 degree change in his mood.

"What?" I asked.

"You forgot? Your makeover!" Yumi gushed, and I widened my eyes.

"You guys were serious about that?"

"Yeah, didn't you know? I even booked a date for you," Namjoon scrolled through his phone, and my eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Without asking me?! With whom?!"

"Junsu. That guy at the back of history class."

"Seriously? You couldn't find anyone better?" I said, gathering my belongings to make a run for it before they could try anything on me.

"That's okay, but your date is tonight, and we've gotta dress up our girl!" Namjoon simply smiled at me, and the rest cheered.

"Hell nah."

"Hell yeah!"

"I can use my mother's cosmetics!" Jin perked up.

"Uh, guys, my laptop seems to be calling me. Gotta go!" I made a beeline exit towards the door, but pairs of hands grabbed me and pulled me back. I whined as they took me to Jin's parents' room, and sat me down in front of the mirror. I looked at my reflection - tired, seemingly sick of life (wow am I Yoongi?), and boring.

Jin picked up a hair curler, and rolling it's wire out, he evilly smiled and said, "Get ready for a makeover."

"Okay, I'm scared."


End file.
